In this episode Brother Jonathan goes over some scriptures on
marriage. What is the husband commanded? What is the wife
commanded? For Christians, scripture should be the standard and not
Here are the notes for this episode:
Some Biblical Principles of Marriage
- I’m not the ultimate authority on marriage. God’s Word is
always the absolute standard for life and practice. However, the
scriptures also tell us that in the multitude of counselors there
is safety (Pro. 11:14).
- This is our third episode related to marriage.
- First was my wife and I’s testimony of how we met and came
- Second, we took time to look at what the scriptures had to say
- This is a sensitive subject. You need to settle it in your
heart with the Lord about whether or not you want God’s perfect
will. Even if you’re already married you have the opportunity to
serve God perfectly in your marriage from this day forward.
- Not every marriage situation can just be dealt with in a
broad-sweeping-generalization sometimes with man’s wisdom. The
state of the world is such that there is any number of horrible
possibilities of where someone is right now. Adultery, molestation,
bitterness, physical and emotional abuse, and in general: misery.
These are all common today when you bring up the subject of
marriage. I must say though, as cold as it may sound, that wherever
you may find yourself, if you’re married, you need to understand
that God’s commands are universal. The Lord Himself is Love, and He
knows far better than any your situation. Yet He gives commandments
because He CAN do something about it.
- Our part is to put Him first in our lives. Commit your ways
unto the Lord, and you can trust that He will lead you and give you
wisdom. The Lord is much more willing to help than you are willing
to be helped.
- Marriage roles are different in God’s sight.
- The world’s understanding of marriage is different than God’s.
If you want an uncommon marriage, then it will take you doing
things in an uncommon manner.
- In 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together
with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with
unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
- If you are a true Christian you won’t want to marry a lost
person. It is commanded, and it will only cause problems. The Lord
is the entire purpose of living for a true Christian. How then
would they want to be married to someone who doesn’t know Him?
- If you are already married to an unbeliever don’t despair. When
we get to the role of the wife there is a passage in 1 Peter that
gives very clearly what you are to do. So, like I said, don’t
despair. If your spouse wants to be married to you, and you are a
truly devoted Christian, it says something about their heart. We’ll
go over that when we get to that verse.
- Psalm 127:1 says, “Except the Lord build the house, they labor
in vain that build it.”
- The Lord Jesus Christ must be the foundation of your life. A
godly marriage is the result of a godly lifestyle. Seek first the
kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and the Lord will take care
of the rest.
- You must submit yourself to the Lord in this area of your life.
Settle it in your heart that you will serve the Lord. Regardless of
what others do. You’ll find more than likely that others will try
to discourage you.
- The Husband
- Now let’s look at the role of the husband. I would encourage
you if you’re not married yet to examine these things that God has
said in His Word about the roles of husband and wife. If you want
to be married then you have to set these commandments as your
standard: they ought to be the rule, and not the exception. These
are scripture and not my opinion. I’ll try to be clear if I do say
something that is just my opinion.
- Now I believe that the first verses we’re going to look at are
the quintessential verses for husbands. I believe they sum up all
the rest of scripture on the matter, as you’ll see.
- In Ephesians 5:25-28 we read, “Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he
might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the
word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not
having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be
holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their
own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”
- Let’s take some time to consider what this means for us as men.
- We have a very clear commandment here to “love your wives.”
Sadly, what I’ve found is that most men at some time or another
begin to see their wives as a burden. That “ball and chain” that
keeps them from doing the things that they really want to do. It
grieves me so much to hear a man talk about his wife in the way.
Here, we have an unconditional commandment. You are to love your
wife. In Colossians 3:19 we read, “Husbands, love your wives, and
be not bitter against them.” Again, notice, there is no condition
set forth. You are to love them.
- “…even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for
it…” Now, when the Lord uses
- “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and
shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen.
- “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of
his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an
infidel.” (1 Tim. 5:8)
- “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not
hindered.” (1 Pet. 3:7)
- This is a wonderful exhortation from scripture to put things in
perspective for the man. We’re told, “dwell with them
- “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and
likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of
her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath
not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the
other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give
yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that
Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (1 Cor. 7:3-5)
- “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the
head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” (Eph.
- “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the
Lord.” (Eph. 5:22)
- “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and
thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy
desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Gen.
- “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his
wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her
husband.” (Eph. 5:33)
- “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children,
guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak
reproachfully.” (1 Tim. 5:14)
- “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;
that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be
won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste
conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that
outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or
of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the
heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a
meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who
trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their
own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose
daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with
any amazement.” (1 Pet. 3:1-6)
- “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and
likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the
wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a
time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come
together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (1
- “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh
holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of
good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to
love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet,
chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that
the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Tit. 2:3-5)